ISMS

It's been a while. Here you go:

Gi: “Do elephants drink water or juice?”

Gi: “If you get squished by a car you disappear right?”

Anderson: “Is it against the law to give baths to dogs you don’t own?”

Anderson: “Did you know that dogs like their eye balls more than they like their mouths? “

Anderson: “Dad, yesterday when Lucas and I were coming home we saw our neighbor mistreating her dog.”

Me: “Why?”

Anderson: “Because her dog was eating out of the trash. She was like, ‘No! Don’t do that!’”

Me: “Well maybe she was just trying to teach her dog to not eat trash. I mean eating trash is gross.”

Anderson: “But there were all kinds of good stuff in that trash. Like a chicken leg and that, my friend, would be worth it!”

Anderson: “Dad, why didn’t God make the world different?”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Anderson: “I mean His world is awesome and I love all of it but why didn’t He make it just a little different?”

Me: “Like how?”

Anderson: “Like why didn’t He make robots to serve us?”

Me: “Why do you need a servant robot? What would a servant robot do for you that would be so cool?”

Anderson: “Make me toast with his laser eyes.”

Gi: “Why are skunks and birds best friends?”

Anderson: “Hey dad, what was Jesus’ last name?”

Anderson: “Hey dad, what was the happiest day of your life?”

Me: “The day I married mom.”

Anderson: “Not by emotionalism dad but by fun.”

Gi: “Who makes my skin.”

Me: “God does.”

Gi: “How?”

Me: “I don’t know. He’s just awesome.”

Gi: “Do you say that because I’m annoying you?”

Me: “No way. I said it because it’s true. God can do anything.”

Gi: “Can He fly?”

Me: “Yes.”

Gi: “That is awesome!”

Anderson: “Hey dad, what’s the most appropriate name for a nucleus?”

Gi: “Hey Dad, when is God going to make Chuck E. Cheese live in Brasil? Please, please, please God make Chuck E. Cheese live here! (short pause) He heard me!”

Gi: "Hey dad, why do you never wear your ninja pants? Only when you sleep."
Me: "Uh my ninja pants?"

Anderson: “He doesn’t have ninja pants. Those are his pajama pants.”

Gi:“Oh.”

Gi: "Hey dad, does Burger King live in Brasil?"

Special one for B:

Anderson: “When I get married I want to marry someone like Ali.”

Me: “Ali? Like Ali from Mark and Ali?”

Anderson: “Yes. Someone who is crazy and fun.”

Carys: “What about someone like Bronwyn?”

Anderson: “No. I’m not marrying some daffodil!”

Gi: (with mom coming into the room) “Hey mamacita!!”

Anderson: (eating lunch that Benay made) “Mom this chicken is awesome! It’s as good as JFK!!”

Benay: “JFK?”

Anderson: “Yes. The chicken place in the United States.”

Benay: “I think you mean KFC.”

Anderson: “Oh yeah. I don’t know why I said JFK.”

Gi: (ready to go to school) “Hey dad, do I look handsome in these clothes?”

Me: “Of course you do. Very handsome.”

Gi: “I know. I just looked into the mirror and saw that I looked really handsome.”

Gi: “My favorite breakfast foods in the United States are doughnuts, pop-tarts and hot dogs."

Anderson: “Can you believe people still play Bey Blades?”

Me: “Kids seem to like it.”

Anderson: “No kidding. It sticks to people like cheese."

Gi: “My favorite color of door is brown.”

A special one for grandmommy:

Anderson: “Dad, why is dog poop wobbly like a stick and our poop is round?”

Me: “I don’t know. Did you say wobbly like a stick?”

Anderson: “Yes. Like a sausage.....link."

Special one just for our girls: 

Gi: “Eu soltei um pum na aula de natação hoje.”

Lucas: “Saiu bolinhas?”

Gi: “Sim.”

Followed by everyone in the car cracking up. Knew you guys would like that one.