"Preach the gospel at all times; if necessary, use words." Saint Francis of Assisi

Wednesday, October 02, 2013


It's been a while. Here you go:

Gi: “Do elephants drink water or juice?”

Gi: “If you get squished by a car you disappear right?”

Anderson: “Is it against the law to give baths to dogs you don’t own?”

Anderson: “Did you know that dogs like their eye balls more than they like their mouths? “

Anderson: “Dad, yesterday when Lucas and I were coming home we saw our neighbor mistreating her dog.”
Me: “Why?”
Anderson: “Because her dog was eating out of the trash. She was like, ‘No! Don’t do that!’”
Me: “Well maybe she was just trying to teach her dog to not eat trash. I mean eating trash is gross.”
Anderson: “But there were all kinds of good stuff in that trash. Like a chicken leg and that, my friend, would be worth it!”

Anderson: “Dad, why didn’t God make the world different?”
Me: “What do you mean?”
Anderson: “I mean His world is awesome and I love all of it but why didn’t He make it just a little different?”
Me: “Like how?”
Anderson: “Like why didn’t He make robots to serve us?”
Me: “Why do you need a servant robot? What would a servant robot do for you that would be so cool?”
Anderson: “Make me toast with his laser eyes.”
Gi: “Why are skunks and birds best friends?”

Anderson: “Hey dad, what was Jesus’ last name?”

Anderson: “Hey dad, what was the happiest day of your life?”
Me: “The day I married mom.”
Anderson: “Not by emotionalism dad but by fun.”

Gi: “Who makes my skin.”
Me: “God does.”
Gi: “How?”
Me: “I don’t know. He’s just awesome.”
Gi: “Do you say that because I’m annoying you?”
Me: “No way. I said it because it’s true. God can do anything.”
Gi: “Can He fly?”
Me: “Yes.”
Gi: “That is awesome!”

Anderson: “Hey dad, what’s the most appropriate name for a nucleus?”

Gi: “Hey Dad, when is God going to make Chuck E. Cheese live in Brasil? Please, please, please God make Chuck E. Cheese live here! (short pause) He heard me!”

Gi: "Hey dad, why do you never wear your ninja pants? Only when you sleep."
Me: "Uh my ninja pants?"

Anderson: “He doesn’t have ninja pants. Those are his pajama pants.”

Gi: "Hey dad, does Burger King live in Brasil?"

Special one for B:

Anderson: “When I get married I want to marry someone like Ali.”
Me: “Ali? Like Ali from Mark and Ali?”
Anderson: “Yes. Someone who is crazy and fun.”
Carys: “What about someone like Bronwyn?”
Anderson: “No. I’m not marrying some daffodil!”
Gi: (with mom coming into the room) “Hey mamacita!!”

Anderson: (eating lunch that Benay made) “Mom this chicken is awesome! It’s as good as JFK!!”
Benay: “JFK?”
Anderson: “Yes. The chicken place in the United States.”
Benay: “I think you mean KFC.”
Anderson: “Oh yeah. I don’t know why I said JFK.”

Gi: (ready to go to school) “Hey dad, do I look handsome in these clothes?”
Me: “Of course you do. Very handsome.”
Gi: “I know. I just looked into the mirror and saw that I looked really handsome.”

Gi: “My favorite breakfast foods in the United States are doughnuts, pop-tarts and hot dogs."

Anderson: “Can you believe people still play Bey Blades?”
Me: “Kids seem to like it.”
Anderson: “No kidding. It sticks to people like cheese."
Gi: “My favorite color of door is brown.”

A special one for grandmommy:

Anderson: “Dad, why is dog poop wobbly like a stick and our poop is round?”
Me: “I don’t know. Did you say wobbly like a stick?”
Anderson: “Yes. Like a sausage.....link."
Special one just for our girls: 

Gi: “Eu soltei um pum na aula de natação hoje.”
Lucas: “Saiu bolinhas?”
Gi: “Sim.”
Followed by everyone in the car cracking up. Knew you guys would like that one. 

1 comment:

Sascha Terry said...

can't. stop. laughing...